I’ve discussed the reason why we need to build our lives–relationship, career, finance, family, business, etc.–from our core, the place within us where we derives all psychological strengths, abilities, and nourishments. Here, I’ll discuss some common challenges why some people have difficulty doing so, even when they are already trying, meaning that they are already aware that they are not standing firmly on their psychological foundation.
On the path home, some of us may experience difficulty staying within ourselves, connecting to ourselves, or even finding ourselves.
When we are used to going outside, tuning our attention outward, centering ourselves on an external standard or value or expectation, we develop a energy circuitry, a neurological pattern of going outside to find our axis and find our root. Over time, this energy circuitry has become so strong and rigid that if you suddenly want to go home, you will feel extremely lost. Your mind goes blank. There is literally no road home, because that road has not been built.
So you would need some time to connect to your core. For some people, this is an intuitive and organic process. For others, this process requires external professional support. Also, there are different layers of residing within ourselves. The deeper you wish to connect to your core, the more you need to come back to reach into your core, and the longer the process may be. Like a tree, the deeper you reach and stay within yourself, the taller you can grow and expand in your life.
Whether it is easy or not for you to go home depends on how far you have already deviated from home (often related to life cycles), and how convoluted your energy circuitry is (your modus operandi). This is why I used the analogy of the Tower of Pisa to illustrate the problem of building a life based on an uneven platform, and that the earlier you remedy the imbalance, the easier the healing is.
There are many blocks and conflicts that we may experience in trying to reach home: invalidation, fear, insecurity, worry, lack, unworthiness, doubt, agitation, cluelessness, etc. I call these imbalanced energies, because they make you lose your footing such that you are not standing on your core. They make you go out of balance.
But what exactly is a sense of balance? How does it feel to be in a state of balance? What is a balanced state of mind?
You feel at ease and at peace. You are comfortable and relaxed. You are not rushed, not panicky, not chasing for people, money, career, etc. You are securely seated within your reservoir of endless psychological resources–abundance, joy, love, peace, enthusiasm, trust, power, value, connection, acceptance, etc. When you act from there, those resources (in the form of atoms and molecules which we commonly call energies) flow out into all aspects of our lives–our finance, relationship, career, family, health, wealth, business, etc.–wherever we invest ourselves in, and manifest them in the form of physical resources such as money, spouse, salary, reputation, family, friendship, etc.
When you are not in a state of balance, you may build in many compensating measures to offset your imbalance. Let’s say you choose a profession because your parents tell you to, or because society says that profession is very respectable or makes a lot of money or is easy to find a job. But it is not what you want, like, or are good at. So the compensating measures in this case may be, you constantly have to look for guidance, examples, reference materials, etc., to help you figure out what to do, what is the right thing to do, what is being expected from you, etc., and you may find yourself trying to second-guess and anticipate how others will respond if you do things this way or that way, and then you may find yourself trying to fix things, redo things, in order to meet external expectations. Every step of the way, you are looking outward, forming an energy circuitry where your attention is tuned outward, in many different directions, sometimes even scanning for an external signpost if none seems to be in sight. So over time, you establish a convoluted web of neurological pathways that are all outward-looking, then you wonder what are you, who are you, where are you.
When you are internally driven, your compass is inside you. You don’t need to look outside, or at least, not that much.
Let us briefly discuss the effect of imbalanced energies that tilt your focus outward. Let’s say you choose a profession based on market demand or family demand or whatever external demand, you can start by asking yourself why are you submitting yourself to these external forces. Fear that you’re not good enough, that you may not be accepted or appreciated if you choose your own path? Lack of confidence and self-esteem? Family pressure?
Going deeper into these imbalanced energies, why do you succumb to family pressure? Because they use guilt, fear, and shame to force you to live out their dreams or values? They impose their imbalanced energies on you, and you internalized those imbalanced energies.
For some people, they may have many layers of imbalanced energies to pare before getting to their core. There are many healing system and modalities that support that process.
