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The Worry Energy

Yesterday I wrote about connecting to the pigs to heal my worry pattern, this morning I woke up worried again. But I was unconscious of my worry, meaning that I did not know that a group of atoms and molecules of worry was acting up again, and making me do this and that–open this window, close that door (because our outdoor temperature had dropped to single digit and I didn’t want to turn on my central heating because I still needed to isolate one of my rooms for fumigation)–so I got out of bed a few times then went back to sleep, but this up-and-down motion did not help me fall back to sleep on a Saturday morning, rather, it woke me up fully. That’s one of the effects of worry energy: makes you do this and that because you cannot stand sitting on your hands and fantasizing the doom that you have in your mind if you don’t act fast enough.

Since I realized I wasn’t so sleepy anymore, I tried to listen to some audiobook to help me drift to sleep, but that didn’t work so I tried listening to some sleep music, but then thought I would connect to the pigs again, because again it worked last night, but this time it didn’t work, because every time when I tried to connect, I lost the connection two seconds later. Other streams of thoughts interjected my connection.

After a few failed attempts, I became conscious. I asked myself, why this repeated failure? Then I noticed a haze of worry energies around me, like thick clouds from an out-of-control forest fire. So I cleared that fog.

Then I got up to eat breakfast and get ready, because I had to walk my neighbor’s dog at a certain hour. After I came back, I had to report to him that his dog peed. Then on my phone I noticed his text message asking me to check his dog’s food bowl when I went in. But of course I didn’t do that because I didn’t see his request until after I finished the mission, so I replied saying that I only got his message now and reported that the dog peed. Then he asked, “Did you check the bowl?”

So I replied explicitly what I had already replied implicitly, in perfectly formed English sentence: “No, I did not look at his bowl.”

I wonder how you would react if you were him.

Anyway, I added telling him what I had observed during my visit, saying that he appeared weak and cold, and not too willing to eat his snacks.

My neighbor replied, in a somewhat exaggerated tone of worry: “If he doesn’t eat, he will die of low blood sugar.” This dog is diabetic.

I felt his words like some kind of weapon slapping across my face. But I didn’t react. Instead, I disengaged.

This is how energy works: two or more people with the same underlying energies will come together to manufacture a group event in which they then complicate and turn a molehill into a mountain, just like how the coronavirus turns into a global pandemic hitting every one at every level more than once.

So when his worry energy flared up, hitting me in the face, I had to disengage, because if I engaged (unconsciously of course because why would I consciously engage in worry) then I would be panicking about how I helped someone walk their dog and it ended up dead in my care, blah blah blah. You can dramatize my fantasy a few billion folds. That’s just how worry energy works. But I am not trying to grow the worry energy, I am trying to uproot it, so I cannot engage, I must disengage!

So I didn’t engage, didn’t react, didn’t respond to any possible death. The rest was not my problem. DISENGAGE!

Neither did I check my phone for his reply right away. I didn’t care what he had to say. I only knew that he would have something to say. Instead, I did my cooking, then did some stretching, then got the table ready for my lunch, then check my phone.

By then he had added another message saying, “Oh but if he’s walking that means his blood sugar was okay.”

Well, he seemed to have calmed himself down already, perhaps because I had injected a different set of energies into our circuitry, an energy that I had acquired from the pigs–a sense of ease among chaos, noise, and filth.

He just asked me to check the food bowl the next time I visited the dog. So for the afternoon, I went around doing other things, and didn’t worry about whether his dog would still be alive when I went to check on him again.

If it was my pet, I would not control the amount nor timing of his food intake. I leave it up to my pet to decide. I expect my pet to be self-determined. And that expectation is projected onto the animal telepathically (and every single time I think of his feeding), and animals pick up on our thoughts and beliefs and usually would act them out. But because my neighbor controls his dog, the animal has lost its self-determination, and its only choice is either to eat or not eat. My neighbor told me that his dog is doing that ‘not eating his food again, not liking his snacks again,’ which means he has been changing food brands for a while now, and this has become a pattern (I talked about patterns in another post). So when the dog doesn’t want to eat, my neighbor starts to do this and that, and by extension, he tries to get me to do this and that, which he had done and I had followed at the very beginning when I started to walk his dog and found that he was too controlling–it was not reasonable for a dog walker to be responsible for the biological processes of an animal. But I had consciously released a lot of the controlling energies since then, so now I just focus on doing what was agreed upon, and I don’t give attention to anything extra, which means I don’t add any extra imbalanced energies to our agreement.

So when he started to tell me that this sounded like another series of dog starvation, emergency situation, I didn’t even wince. If you want to worry, you engage in your worry, but with yourself and by yourself only, please exclude me. Why should I have to worry about your choice of controlling your dog to the point where his only freedom is to either eat or not eat?

In the afternoon, when I went for a second prescribed visit, I checked the food bowl. I had to look directly into it, not at an angle, because it was so empty that if I were to stand let’s say one foot away from it, I would not be able to see that there were two pieces of snacks in it, each with a diameter of less than 1cm.

I texted my neighbor that there were two pieces of snacks in his bowl, and he replied, “Oh good, he finished his breakfast. That’s a relief!”

To me, there’s nothing to be relieved about, because there was nothing to be worried about.

. . .

This is what my Taiwanese teacher said about worry energy: when your worry energy has accumulated to a certain extent, it will start to manifest physically as a problem, so that you can worry about it, because if you don’t have a problem, then you cannot worry, you cannot do the worry thing. But if you worry, and start to do this and that, then your doing will intensify your worry energy, because your actions are rooted upon your worry, and that intensification will amplify your problem (that’s why I compared it to the ballooning of the coronavirus).

In other words, your problem is constructed by your inner energies. They may be worry, fear, lack, insecurity, etc.

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