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More Control?

After helping my boss post a job advertisement, she hired two therapists at zero cost and within a week they were already working. Then yesterday she wanted me to help her do the same thing again. Again, I encountered a similar intervention at the beginning.

This time I was not eating a cinnamon roll, but had just finished a cup of vermicelli. My hands were free and I was writing the article about the starting point of our twelve senses. She sat next to me, and started talking about the two therapists she currently has and wanted to hire at least one more. In my mind I was thinking, ‘Okay, what’s your point?’

I didn’t really have much of a visible reaction other than showing that I heard her. So she continued to say that. Then I started to wonder, ‘Why are you hiring right now? You want your clinic to explode?’ But I did not verbalize my thought. I just silently acknowledged her while looking at my article. But she continued to say it. Then I wondered, ‘Are we repeating what happened last time? How is that possible? I already collapsed the experience.’

But she continued to nudge. So I thought, ‘Okay, if I didn’t collapse it completely, then let’s go through it and see what else I had missed.’

I Googled Indeed, the job bank website that I had previously used to post a job ad for her. She started to navigate, by telling me to go to her employer profile on that website. Basically every step of my way was being dictated by her. Again she was using my hands to do the things that she knew how to do, yet she would not do it herself. So while I was being navigated by her, I had this thought in my head: ‘Again? Controlling my hands and feet? If you know how to do it, and you have the time to watch me do it, then why don’t you just go ahead and do it yourself?’

But this time was a little bit different than last time, in the sense that there was actually a little bit of a psychological distance between her instructions and my actions. To put it differently, she didn’t have much traction over my hands and I barely engaged. Instead, I allocated most of my attention to mentally observing and diagnosing the situation as she played out the underlying imbalanced energies.

Then she stopped hovering over me. She gave up using my hands and returned her gaze to her own monitor. She started to log in to Indeed and try to do it herself. She was frustrated, perhaps with the inability to access my hands (not that I refused her, I just no longer have those imbalanced energies of being controlled, so even as she tried to exert control over me, I did not register her controlling effect: my brain chose to accept her verbal instructions after considering other options, so I was exercising my free choice) or with the inability to complete the task herself.

That was a very odd scene for me. The effect of the conscious release that I previously did finally kicked in. But why did it start working only after the situation started? I thought I had collapsed the entire situation, not half of it, so the situation should never have the chance to take place at all.

So here’s my inner observation of some of the underlying imbalanced energies that initiated yesterday’s situation:

I attract people who are overly reliant on me. And I allow them to use me to fulfill their mission, because if I don’t, they will use violence or threat, or in some way pressure me.

They tend to assume a leader or bossy role–they only move their mouths, not their hands. That’s their only way of getting things done. So when I come into contact with such people, I have no choice but to enter into a situation of being controlled, and they have no choice but to be in a position of control.

. . .

The key energies this time, as opposed to last time, are at the initial stage, of getting me to do things for them. That’s why she had to nag for a bit before I finally decided to log on to Indeed.

I have many experiences with the after effect of conscious release of imbalanced energies. Usually I have to release several rounds before an incident will resolve itself. But when it finally does, it happens just like yesterday where the other party who previously shared the same underlying imbalanced energies as me changes their interaction with me. They change themselves instead of me changing them. I don’t change or control others. I only work on myself.

Though I have many experiences of such transformation, yesterday’s experience was still quite a refreshing and pleasant surprise for me, because I got to experience for the first time the effect of the change in the atoms and molecules flowing inside the established energy circuitry between me and her. Initially she was firing her atoms and molecules of control while she mentioned about hiring again. And those same atoms and molecules inside me pulled in hers, like two magnets being drawn together. Click. Then while she tried to use my hands, I did not register it at the time, but now in retrospect, I realize that she was trying to fire her atoms and molecules of controlling my hands that I had previously released in my earlier article, and the reason that she would fire those imbalanced energies that no longer resonate with me is that she has a very fixed behavioral pattern that automatically runs the entire series of control energies one after another, and she reached the second step of that pattern which I had already released on my end, those atoms and molecules that she fired could not bond or click or attract me, so after trying to instruct me for a while she gave up and went back to her own computer because it’s very frustrating to keep firing atoms and molecules without receiving any echo.

. . .

This time, I decided to do another step after my release: reset.

I engage myself in tasks that capitalize on my talents, skills, and knowledge; align with my interests, passions, beliefs, principles, values, and vision; maximize my highest potentials to fulfill and satisfy me; and touch the lives of others deeply.

I collaborate with others who appreciate my contribution; have full faith in my abilities, qualifications, talents, and knowledge; and reward me generously.

I set this in my energy field, then let whatever images or feelings come up, then infuse myself with those energies.

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