Der Blog, der Kultur erlebbar macht.

His Car and My Car

One day, my neighbor Terrance phoned me to ask me if I was free. I said no. He asked, “What are you doing?” I said I was writing an article. He said, “What? You write? Article? What for?” Blah blah blah.

He wanted me to drop everything to chauffeur him to an auto repair shop to pick up his car. Naturally, I didn’t drop everything on demand. I finished my article then drove him. He said he was in a hurry to retrieve his car so that he could pick up his stuffs from work to complete his work. So we were operating on his timeline.

Upon arrival at the shop, he wanted to just grab his car and run, as he was in such a hurry. However, the mechanic wanted to explain to him what was wrong, so the mechanic brought him into the back of the shop to show him the defunct part that was removed from his car, and explained the technicality of it. He didn’t want to hear it. No interest in mechanics, no interest in what was wrong with his car, no interest in the solution that the mechanic had devised. He only wanted to grab his car so that he could go to his workplace.

So in that state of mind, I ended up being the one listening to the mechanic, I ended up being the one trying to understand what the mechanic was trying to do, I ended up being the one interested in mechanics, etc.

Later, after he paid and got his car, he drove half a block then came back to complain madly to the mechanic, “It’s not fixed!”

But he and the mechanic weren’t communicating. And I happened to be sandwiched between them. The mechanic tried to speak to me instead, and then I had to relay the message to Terrance. But he didn’t even want to hear what I had to say (which was what the mechanic had to say). As soon as I realized that, I stopped talking. I just let him be–mad as hell.

Now he was not only unhappy with his car, he was also unhappy with the mechanic as well as the shop.

“I wasted half a day waiting, to pay him a few hundred dollars, only to give me my problem back?”

The fact was that the mechanic fixed whatever part that he could fix now, and the part that he could not fix right away, he didn’t, but would, as soon as the parts arrived, and Terrance didn’t understand any of that, he just demanded that the car be completely fixed NOW!

Now that he was not happy with the mechanic nor the shop, he decided to go to Mitsubishi dealership, which he said would be a lot more expensive, but at this point, he was no longer worried about money, nor his initial tight work deadline, he was utterly consumed by fury.

Seeing that he no longer wanted to hurry to get to his workplace, I didn’t bother to find a way to get him there, and instead, I just sat next to him watching him burn in his own anger.

“I don’t know why this car gives me so many problems. I just fixed the window a couple weeks ago. And before that, I spent a few hundred dollars fixing that. I am really impressed by your car! How it is still running properly, no fuss, at that age.” He was ranting, and his freestyle speech surprised me.

He projected so much negativity to his car, repeatedly, and yet he expected it to perform?

My car is older than his, but I don’t bring it to the shop because it needs fixing, but because it needs maintenance and checkup. And I don’t bring it to just any shop around town. I take it to the Toyota dealership, the hospital intended for Car Car. People say the dealership is more expensive. Yes, that’s true. But my decision is not determined by money, it’s determined first and foremost by the wellbeing of Car Car. And I definitely don’t complain about Car Car’s performance. If something doesn’t seem right, I would ask, “Car Car, are you okay? Do you need some help?” When I took it to the hospital for overnight stay, I would tell it, “Car Car, the doctors and nurses there will take good care of you, okay?”

Even on ordinary days, when it is not going to the doctor, and I am just leaving it at the parking lot outside my workplace, I would say, “Okay Car Car, you sit here, I will be back in a few hours.”

I am fully aware that it is an inanimate object that does not participate in human conversation, but I do that because I have a relationship with it, not only that, I am the one in the relationship who determines the nature and quality of that relationship.

Molecularly speaking, the energy circuitry between me and Car Car contains all the emotions and thoughts that I project out, and every time I drop something into that energetic pathway, those emotions and thoughts held by (or charging the) molecules and atoms circulate and vibrate between me and Car Car, and landing in the latter. When a certain vibration in Car Car reaches a certain intensity or threshold, a certain situation will manifest. Taking Terrance’s example, his car would break down, suddenly, although it was probably not sudden that he projected those negative energies into his car. It was only a matter of time that his car would break down.

I want to take a step back to give color to his personality. He has a tendency to complain, about everything. The key is not the object of his complaints, the key is that he has a certain negative outlook on life. The energy of that negativity is landing everywhere, including my car. Previously, when he didn’t need my chauffeuring, he would say that my car was too old and so I should sell it and get a new one. A lot of people told me that.

The reason was my low self worth, thereby attracting people to invalidate, criticize, condemn, reject me, right from the get-go, without even trying to discover the value in me. This is a vibration deep in my unconscious that was circulating and pulsating in atoms and molecules throughout my body, often landing in many places in my life–work, relationship, finance, health, etc.–and of course also Car Car.

I didn’t have the power to heal that energy because it not only had its psychological roots in my parents (their own low self worth passed down to me through the zygote during conception, and later activated through repeatedly invalidating and condemning me), but also in my past life memories of being condemned in human relationships, especially in institutionalized context, such as being born stateless therefore being a person without human rights.

Nowadays, the institutional and structural energy that I was previously trapped in has loosened up a bit, after clearing the water element memory in my body that was too stubborn in upholding the past life memories, I am getting more praises and appreciation from people who see Car Car. Not only that, after I got my car back a few days ago, I am also expecting cash into my pocket–a decision agreed upon by two institutions, without me demanding it, and one of them even said, “Nowadays it’s rare to get cash from the insurance company.”–for simply being.

Being me. My vibrations have changed. Therefore Car Car is getting cash, care, and support.

I looked at Car Car. I smiled and said, “You are looking beautiful!”

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